“Sam?”
Max tilts his head, curiously.
“Who’s Sam?”
This is awkward because Sarah actually just sent Sam a text. “He’s…just an old friend that taught me a lot…” There was no point in wondering what could have been between her and Sam anymore now that she had Max.
Max is instantly paranoid, because that’s how Max’s work. After years of abuse, he tends to read between the lines, seeking out any hint of abuse and trying to mentally prepare himself for it, physical or emotional. He can’t help being curious.
“What’d he teach you?”
“Because good things don’t happen to me and I’m just waiting for all of this to go horribly horribly wrong.”
“It won’t. Jesus you’re more stubborn than Sam!” Except Sarah had never been able to get through to Sam and he’d left and she never heard from him again. That wasn’t going to happen again. She wasn’t giving up this time. “Just give it a chance and if shit happens, it happens and we’ll deal with it when it happens! Until then RELAX!”
“Sam?”
Max tilts his head, curiously.
“Who’s Sam?”
Max still doesn’t really think that’s going to work, but he won’t say anything.
“So…I only get affection if I’m happy? We’re not going to be a very affectionate couple…”
Sarah laughs and takes his hand. The word couple makes her feel warmer and fluttery inside. “At least we’re a couple.”
The word couple makes Max make a slightly frightened face as he stares at Sarah.
Sarah laughs again at that look. “Why do you act like it’s such a bad thing that something GOOD is happening?”
“Because good things don’t happen to me and I’m just waiting for all of this to go horribly horribly wrong.”
Max still doesn’t really think that’s going to work, but he won’t say anything.
“So…I only get affection if I’m happy? We’re not going to be a very affectionate couple…”
Sarah laughs and takes his hand. The word couple makes her feel warmer and fluttery inside. “At least we’re a couple.”
The word couple makes Max make a slightly frightened face as he stares at Sarah.
Shrugging, he figures that’s fair enough.
“Yeah, you can do that. It’ll kind of be like…shock therapy.”
“I don’t actually want to slap you!” Sarah sighs because she knows Max has gone through enough abuse in his life and she won’t add more. “Ok so that was a bad idea. How about a reward system instead of punishment? Every time you’re OPTIMISTIC you get a kiss?”
Max still doesn’t really think that’s going to work, but he won’t say anything.
“So…I only get affection if I’m happy? We’re not going to be a very affectionate couple…”
It was easy to list off everything holding him back in his head. Insecurity. Fear of getting attached and then being abandoned, nervousness of the fact that he’d have to take off his clothes one day around her and even though the bruises and cuts have long since faded, he keeps imagining them still lingering under his clothes. Fear of hurting her one day, fear of Azazel or one of the other psychics hurting her just for being close to him, and fear of hunters coming after him and dragging her down to Hell with him. But he closed his eyes and couldn’t make any of the words come out, choking, and tightening his grip on her hip, mumbling out a quiet “I’m sorry” instead even though there was far too much for him to apologize for.
Sarah could see the troubled look on his face and squeezes his hand that was squeezing her hip. “Don’t apologize… It’s going to be ok. You’ve just got to give it a chance…” She felt like a whiny little girl begging for a toy but she wasn’t going to give up.
“What if it’s not? What if you get hurt? Or killed?”
“What if I slap you every time you ask me a pessimistic question?”
Shrugging, he figures that’s fair enough.
“Yeah, you can do that. It’ll kind of be like…shock therapy.”
It was easy to list off everything holding him back in his head. Insecurity. Fear of getting attached and then being abandoned, nervousness of the fact that he’d have to take off his clothes one day around her and even though the bruises and cuts have long since faded, he keeps imagining them still lingering under his clothes. Fear of hurting her one day, fear of Azazel or one of the other psychics hurting her just for being close to him, and fear of hunters coming after him and dragging her down to Hell with him. But he closed his eyes and couldn’t make any of the words come out, choking, and tightening his grip on her hip, mumbling out a quiet “I’m sorry” instead even though there was far too much for him to apologize for.
Sarah could see the troubled look on his face and squeezes his hand that was squeezing her hip. “Don’t apologize… It’s going to be ok. You’ve just got to give it a chance…” She felt like a whiny little girl begging for a toy but she wasn’t going to give up.
“What if it’s not? What if you get hurt? Or killed?”
Staring at her dumbstruck, he slowly shook his head.
“No…now I’m just wondering if you’re insane. You KNOW I’m demonic…”
“And you should know that I don’t care. I got tired of waiting for you to come around so I’m just going to have to convince you that this ISN’T a bad thing.” Sarah runs her hand through his hair again and gave him a peck on the lips.
Shivering again, he looked uncomfortable as he timidly placed a hand on her hip, trying to take deep breaths to force himself through this.
“What’s it going to take for you to come to your senses and realize that this isn’t what you want? It’s a bad idea.”
“And what’s it going to take for YOU to realize that if you don’t stop trying to tell me what I do and don’t want I’m going to slap you.” She glared at him and sighed. The hand on her hip was reassuring and since he had kissed her back she wasn’t loosing hope. She just wished he’d stop being so mopey and stubborn. “What’s really holding you back here?”
It was easy to list off everything holding him back in his head. Insecurity. Fear of getting attached and then being abandoned, nervousness of the fact that he’d have to take off his clothes one day around her and even though the bruises and cuts have long since faded, he keeps imagining them still lingering under his clothes. Fear of hurting her one day, fear of Azazel or one of the other psychics hurting her just for being close to him, and fear of hunters coming after him and dragging her down to Hell with him. But he closed his eyes and couldn’t make any of the words come out, choking, and tightening his grip on her hip, mumbling out a quiet “I’m sorry” instead even though there was far too much for him to apologize for.
Staring at her dumbstruck, he slowly shook his head.
“No…now I’m just wondering if you’re insane. You KNOW I’m demonic…”
“And you should know that I don’t care. I got tired of waiting for you to come around so I’m just going to have to convince you that this ISN’T a bad thing.” Sarah runs her hand through his hair again and gave him a peck on the lips.
Shivering again, he looked uncomfortable as he timidly placed a hand on her hip, trying to take deep breaths to force himself through this.
“What’s it going to take for you to come to your senses and realize that this isn’t what you want? It’s a bad idea.”
Whimpering, he still felt like his mind was broken, not knowing what was happening or why, but the petting was soothing and starting to slowly calm him. As he relaxed, he hesitantly closed his eyes and softly leaned into the kiss to kiss her back, shivering slightly at the feeling of actually being close to someone like this.
Sarah smiled into the kiss when she felt him kiss back and decided that this was good enough to let them have a little breath of air. “See that wasn’t so bad was it?”
Staring at her dumbstruck, he slowly shook his head.
“No…now I’m just wondering if you’re insane. You KNOW I’m demonic…”
